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Hello! :)

Hope you're having a great day thus far! Today's journaling prompt seems like it's gonna be a touch cookie to crack... until I read a post this morning. Which might or might not trigger a long rant post again...

I was reading a post by FourFeetNine earlier. It hit home right on the dot so I shared the post as well. I do hope you take a little bit of time to read it... because I felt the same way. Was it really OK for me to be smiling and happy and posting happy content while the rest of the country is suffering from COVID and it's aftereffects? 

I did probably did mention this in a few posts but I do count myself lucky and privileged to have the luxury of being physically and financially fine during this pandemic. I'm beyond thankful to be able to be where I am today, while many others aren't as lucky. And still, is it all right for me to take a deep breathe and exhale because I don't suffer from the biting effects of the pandemic? There's this tinge of guilt and uneasiness that hits whenever I want to share or post happy content... because it feels like I shouldn't be doing so?

I'm not sure how many of you understand what I'm feeling. Maybe that's why I resorted to blogging.. because after years of not blogging... I'm pretty sure hardly anyone comes here to read anymore... and I can express myself a bit more freely (although if you ARE reading, thank you for sparing me your attention!!). This is one of the many feelings that have been bothering my ever since the pandemic dragged on for over a year. Is it OK  for me to be one of the happy ones on social media when everyone is just tired and raging every day? I don't know anymore. And probably neither do you.

I'm also being bothered at how small my social circle is... at how... "close" my friendships are. Sometimes I sit back and just realize that I barely know my friends anymore. We do talk and catch up occasionally, but the gap between the times we meet up and don't... drags me to dust. Am I such a bad friend? I know deep down I've always been replaced by the better people in their lives, and I'll just be a memory of the "past times" we've had together. Yet I'm not a choice to be taken with you in the Present and Future, because of who I am. 

This issue has been following like the plague since I was a small kid. I'm not kidding you. I know I'm quiet, less social, always with a RBF and "lan ci" kind of face showing if I'm not purposely smiling, probably quite unapproachable and being the introvert that I am... I'm probably not your first choice of friend anyway. I've always wanted to change that bit of me but it's mentally challenging. My mind blacks out after an hour of interaction at most and I revert back to hide in my social shell. 

Have I mentioned before that I am aware of when I am being left out on purpose? When I'm not invited to certain events on purpose? When I'm not in group chats? When there's inside jokes or small throwbacks to times when I wasn't there? I can feel it all. The distance. I know people try to hide it from me. Not post events to stories until it's a throwback. Saying sorry after for the bojio and more. I'm tired. I'm glad I stopped bothering honestly, but it still hits me again, am I such a terrible person to have around? *shrugs* I don't even think I want to know the answer to that.

I'm sorry if I've been such a terrible friend... but I'll still cover your back if you need me. Heck, I probably say YES to almost any gathering or outings if I'm asked to attend. It's those moments that make me happier and believe more in friendships. 

Sorry for such a "down" post today! I've sneaked a peak at tomorrow's journal prompt and it should be a more happier toned blog post hehe.

Take care and good night 💓

 Hello!! 

Can I just say that a good morning workout is one of the best ways to wake up and start the day? Also because I get to wash my hair right after and it stays fluffy all day. If I wash it the night before, it kinda falls flat the next afternoon. Do you get this too? Hahahah. 

And now... what exactly are small victories? I had to google this one because I seem to only know victories as a collective. Lifehack says small victories are "anything you accomplish that aligns with your intentions. They can be related to work, personal or professional relationships, habit changes, and or finances."

And with that as reference... some small victories to celebrate eh?

• I have a better morning routine now. I no longer rush or drag myself forcefully out of bed... that's a win for me :)
• I have implemented a daily exercise routine in my life. Spending 30-40 minutes minimum has done wonders for me!
• I'm cutting back on clutter and I've been keeping my space more tidy and organized. Heck I've even cleared out my google photos, organized my browser bookmarks and reduced the number of tabs I have open. (If you know me, I always have plenty of open tabs haha)
• I've managed to consistently set aside money for investments! I didn't automate it yet so I could adjust it to my monthly spending, but I'm glad I made it a priority.
• Yesterday I adjusted some coding issues on the blog templates! Now it's working properly again!
• I'm feeling proud of myself for consistently using my Mossery planner this year... maybe it's because I'm always at home but I'm actually using it more often than the past 2 years!
• I've changed my skincare to a more natural option!
• I'm happy that I've explore more new local small businesses to support! I've actually fell in love with a bunch of em too

Still... I'm glad to be blessed by the Universe to be where I am today. Once again, thank you for reading my journal prompts posts and I'll see you tomorrow! :)

On another note... I'm still on the fence on getting a tripod... It'll be so much easier to take my own picture and OOTDs yet I wonder if it'll be worth the price. But using the rear camera makes my pictures look better huhuhu but also much harder to take a decent picture with since I'm going in blind.. We shall see if I cave in to make that purchase HAHAHA.

Take care till tmr lovelies!

Hello! I hope you're doing well and feeling happy today!

I woke up feeling great, and managed to drag myself into a 20 minute morning workout to get my systems up and running. For some reason, morning workouts always seem to make my days start better, even if it means I have to wash and dry my hair in the mornings haha. Drying long hair takes up so much time you know???

Anyways the journaling prompt for today makes me reminiscence so many wonderful things that have happened over the week. Shall we get started with my list of joy this week? Hehe!

When I get to watch anime and movies with moomoo

ROX gaming (brings back those Ragnarok days hahaha)

Talking to my WOTV community peeps on discord

Seeing thatlittlepuff's reels on Instagram (highly recommend the best cat chef!)

Anyone sending me cute funny reels or memes (yes thanks besties)

Getting my Shopee parcels ufufufu

Reviving my blog to blog again + updating my blog template! It's just the right balance of pretty, minimalist and simple!

When TingTing made me a cake

Finishing volumes of 86 light novel (currently at vol7 now!)

Catching up with the latest animes (so many shows to watch!!)

Reading Tokyo Revengers till the latest chapter (and now I'm sad that I gotta wait for more chapters)

Watching random Youtube videos that I subscribe to (I laugh a lot and just genuinely enjoy content from worldofxtra worldofmama heyitsfeiii peach amberscholl itsjinakim oanh wassupman shorteview miamaples and more) Sorry if it suddenly turned into a YouTube recommendation list lol!!

Doing daily workout videos! (thanks OppServe and GrowWithJo)

Getting collagen drinks and more from Rixile.co

When moomoo bought hot chocolate powder for me :D 

When Cuddles accidently fell off the bed while asleep 

Honestly right now I can't even tell if this is last week's or 2 week's worth of joy that's condensing into a single week. Pandemic lockdowns have really blurred the lines between days and weeks... I was even writing entries in July but I wrote the date as JUNE??? Yup... so many good things to look back on for this week. I'm pretty sure there's more joyful events and happenings that might have slipped my mind, but I like these kinds of journaling prompts that just make you see the good in the daily happenings!

I'm so sorry if my picture qualities are still quite bad... I'm gonna try to invest in a proper tripod so I don't have to rely on front camera quality HAHAHA. Here's a mlem Cuddles picture to end this post with. She's been in heat for awhile now... I hope it ends soon...

Take care! See you tmr :)

 Hello Day 5 of the Journaling Prompts series!

I'm liking this habit of journaling online daily. Gets some of the negative feelings out of my system! It feels like a habit I would want to instill into my daily life. Honestly I would like to do some of those actual journaling in journals with stickers and washi and all those journal decorations but I know myself, I'd get too lazy, and it brings out the perfectionist on how everything has to be "perfect" in that journal. At least blogging about it won't get me irritated by my own handwriting hahaha. Sometimes I wonder how much practice people put into achieving that aesthetic handwriting... *shrugs*

Now to get to the 10 things I'm grateful for... (which to me might seem repetitive because I've been mentioning it in the past few journaling posts as well!)

    1. I'm grateful for good health and a healthy body.

    2. I'm grateful for loving, healthy relationships in my life.

    3. I'm grateful to have a wonderful paying career with supportive colleagues.

    4. I'm grateful to have a place to call home with food on the table.

    5. I'm grateful to have zero financial worries, with spare to invest with.

    6. I'm grateful to have a wonderful online community to connect with during the pandemic.

    7. I'm grateful for the many books and podcasts that I can feed my soul with.

    8. I'm grateful for the workout programmes to keep my body moving daily.

    9. I'm grateful for the technology and social media and apps that allow communications daily!

    10. I'm grateful for choosing to revive my blog, even if no one reads it (hehe)

Now... that was a little harder than I expected it to be. Since I end up combining a few related things together, I actually froze at 7 things... had to crack my head for the last 3 things hehe. What about you? Did you take time to think what you're grateful for today? I usually have a gratitude app on my phone to remind myself to list down at least 3 things I'm grateful for on that specific day. I even have the reminder notification set daily so that I won't miss a day. I find a great way to end the day before sleeping. You should try it too! I highly recommend it :)

#10 might seem a little weird to you guys but... blogging was once my pride HAHAHA. It was the medium that secured me a trip to Korea for free, that got me invitations to events, that led me to met other people, and even today I wondered why I stopped...

I was super excited back then, I'd bug my mom to get a camera for me (twice!), and happily take pictures of almost everything everyday. I probably annoyed a lot of people, but at the same time I'm glad that I have a lot of pictures to look back on during those times... I stopped using the cameras once phone cameras became the "new camera" and well... that's what I'm using today haha!

Blogs aren't mainstream now but I did enjoy reading many people's contents back in the old days. Where people used to blog freely about their emotions without a care in the world. Being emo or happy or sad or just anything - putting in down in black and white made it all easier. Publish the post and that's that! Was so much better than Twitter. I quit twitter when I realized I was only using it to vent feelings and frustrations... it turned into an app I'd reach for only when I'm down and under, and I never want to always feel like that. So I got rid of Twitter from my phone hahaha.

Welp I'll stop here for today. Thank you for reading and I hope you get to list down things that you're grateful for today :)

 Hello again!

I'm full of energy now thanks to a productive morning! I missed my workout session yesterday evening, so for today I decided to go all out and did my workout first thing in the morning. Morning sweat sessions are always a great energy booster for the rest of my day hehe.

Then I had a cake pick up to do at Sunway! Thank you Ting Ting for the cake!! It's so pretty right? Here's a delicious picture for you to feast your eyes on.

So back to the journaling prompt today. What is going right in my life? 

I am quite happy with my life right now. I don't know what is going "right" or "wrong" as I can never tell what the future will bring but I'm positively happy!

I have a room to live in.

I have a car to drive

I am debt free.

I have a job and was promoted last year.

I am still getting paid despite the pandemic.

My loved ones are alive and well.

I have time to read, paint, workout, aka time for self love.

I have enough money to save and invest.

I have a positive mindset to face life head on.

I could list so many more things that I think is going right in my life... and yet at the same time all that I have could be a luxury for many others. I am just beyond grateful for everything I'm blessed with. The only thing that isn't going right would be my social life and the lack of proper "work" I have to do to keep my job. But I'm more than grateful. Life has to be balanced after all.

And I am just so so so grateful to be in a better position that many others. I do try to buy from small businesses every month. And I do try to share about them on my social media as well, but I'm not all that active on social media these days. Endless scrolling doesn't make me feel like I'm using my time right. If you are running a small business and I haven't reached out to support you yet... I am probably waiting for the time or reason to buy (or just selflessly promote yourself in my DMs hehe).