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"I've learnt so much from people who never existed"

I read that quote while scrolling down my Facebook timeline. And that is so true. Imagine the amount of cartoon characters and anime characters and movie stars and actors and games that were never real. Just fiction. Made up by the imaginations of their creators. Some of them had really outstanding characters or  spout unforgettable quotes all the time. They managed to stay at the back of my mind or somewhere near the depths of my heart without being forgotten over the past years. Without realizing, they've taught me lessons and gave me courage, motivation and inspiration. They've played a crucial part in my life, and I don't regret being influenced by it at all. It's mostly good influence anyways. People strive to improve themselves all the time.

I wanted to watch a movie so my mom left Natalie and I there. We decided to watch Epic ! Or rather, I decided to watch Epic. I just HAD to watch a movie today since both my mom and sis watched movies yesterday.... while I had to stay home. Grrrrrr. Before watching the movie, Natalie and I walked around Parade to check out the bazaar stalls. We bought macaroons and earrings ! :) It was my first time having macaroons, and they are really sweet !! I still don't understand why people like to eat them so much. You guys must really have a sweet tooth huh ? Macaroons are too sweet for my taste. It just isn't my cup of tea. 

The macaroons we bought ! :) Natalie chose Vanilla and Red Velvet. I chose Lemon and Green Apple :)

Weirdly cropped because there were so many people in the background ughhhh.

I spent so much money today -____________- Natalie only brought her phone out so I had to pay for almost everything rawr. But let's ignore that HAHAHA. Here's my OOTD picture !! :D Hehehe.

Back in secondary school, whenever I asked my friend "What time is it?", he'll reply me with "Time for you to get a watch". I knew it was a joke, but it tends to get really annoying when you hear the same answer over and over again for the rest of the year. Though I'd prefer that answer instead of the High School Musical's "It's Summer Time!". But thanks to that I actually got myself a watch right now !! HEHE. Though I'm still not used to having a watch on my hand. At least now I can answer people who wants to know the time !! Hehe.

It feels weird to wear a watch again. I almost forgot to take if off while washing rice !! Thank goodness it's water resistant ! Phew !! Mom choose the design for me since I couldn't choose one on my own ! Haha. I'm not really the kind of person who knows how to choose or make decisions. I take almost forever just choosing what kind of clothes or books or pencil cases and such, that I want. I am very indecisive. I think my sister and I are both like that when it comes to food though. We can never answer our mom's "What do you want to eat?" question. Unless we're craving for a specific kind of food. Hehe. Probably one reason why moms have the toughest job ever !! Thinking what to make or lunch and dinner ! :D
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What triggered this sudden gratefulness , you ask ? I was having a conversation with a new friend I made at SMK Seafield ! :) Her name is XinVee and she's a blogger as well !! I felt very elated to have another blogger friend !! We were on the topic of blogging when we remembered how we used to blog in the past, before our blog became how it is today. I've re-read most of my posts since the day I started blogging. I actually can't bring myself to believe that I blogged in such manner before. Oh, and just because I mention it, doesn't mean you have to go check all my previous blogposts, ok ? :)

Just looking at this post number reminds me of how far I've come. I've deleted and remade many blogs prior to this so I must have probably written nearly a thousand blogposts before this ? I even have one of my previous blog links kept alive because I kept all the posts as drafts so I could read them again when I feel nostalgic. I just did. And it's times like these I think my readers are truly awesome. You've shown me a tremendous amount of support even when I was blogging shit like "I feel so bored today" or "Sigh why must we have exams?" and such. I really wonder how you read posts like those. 

Oh, and some of you have been asking me how Form 6 is. I don't have to go through that "What should I wear today?" life episode because I have a uniform to wear !! HAHAHA. Sorry about that :P Well now, it's harder that I expected (I didn't even understand the first Maths class) , but I like the people here. I only know them on the surface for now but I"m sure our bond and friendship will become stronger as time goes on. After all, we'll be in the same school for the next one and a half  years !! It's sad that some will be shifting schools and streams and classes but I respect their decision. If they don't make the choice now, they never will :)  All that's left would waiting the NS students to start schooling then !! HEHEHE. 

:)

*I'm writing this part after finishing this post. I feel like I ended up writing another lengthy post with barely a connection with the title. HAHAHA. What am I going to do with myself ?

You alone can broaden your horizons. Don't ever set a limit to yourself, or else you won't get past it and your potential can't bloom. It's like keeping yourself chained. What's the point of telling yourself "I can't do it" or "I won't be as good as them" or "I'll never make it" ? Why do you bury yourself under the heavy burdern of negative thoughts ? They can kill you inside without you ever realizing it. Have confidence in yourself !

That's what I think I need someone to tell me. I think I need more confidence, even though you might think that I have enough already. Truth is, there are times when I feel that I am brimming with it and I just march on ahead and feel like I can do anything. However, there were also times where I kept doubting myself and in the end, couldn't move from the spot or just kept running around in circles. It's that kind of feeling that I hate the most.

I know all of us feel this way at times. We feel like we're the only ones out of luck, not loved, being ignored, being left out and more. These feelings that keep dragging us down, is there a way to break free ? Being positive at all times is something I find very hard to do, even with constant encouragement from people around me. That is probably one of the main reasons why I envy optimistic people. They always seem to see the bright light in the darkness.

It's times like these I think how I should build up my own self confidence ? Or rather, what am I actually confident about in myself ? Intelligence ? Looks ? Talent ? I take pride in what I do, and most of the time, it's that same pride which causes my downfall. I have my own insecurities and you have yours. But let's not belittle ourselves because of that. I'm a sensitive person and I've been told that several times. I don't think I've changed much but I'm trying. A single hurtful comment a few years ago would have just made me loathe myself but now, I see it in a different way. I've come a long way since then, though it still hurts when I get comments like those.

Try smiling at yourself in the mirror ! Smile when you take pictures ! Smile when you receive a compliment ! Don't deny compliments, or you might not get any at all. Compliments are given for a reason, and if you keep saying "No, lah" or shrugging it off like it was nothing, you're actually lowering your confidence. You know something ? Being happy can boost your self confidence too !! I'm sure you know that putting on a smug look on your face all day long is just going to ruin  your mood and those of the people around you.

And I'm not sure if some of you tried this before, but faking confidence can sometimes be that extra little push you need to stand tall. I've done it before. Mainly to protect my big fat pride and ego, but there are times where it pulls you through - barely - really. I'd pass on putting up a strong front next time though. And one more thing. Please avoid being a perfectionist. I've been there and I hate it. It'll only restrict you. Trust me on this !! :)