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Hello hello!

I almost forgot to type today's journaling prompt... because I was occupied! I recently found a new manhua after someone recommended the light novel to me. While googling I found that it had a manhua and well, just a few chapters wouldn't hurt eh? WRONG. I am now at chapter 146 and even though I'm not exactly a fan of shounen or reverse harem tags.... the storyline is good HAHAHA.

Then I got sidetracked on YouTube because anime journaling videos are somehow addictive to watch. I suddenly got inspired to start my own anime journal... because I have tons of washi tape and stickers lying about... and colour pens... you name it... I might just add a bunch more to my Shopee cart and check out by accident next month.

So what lesson did I learn this week?

Hmmm....

This is pretty hard to put my finger on, because working from home makes me feel numb. Not sure how many of you feel this, but if anything, I'm happy to have found that reading or writing positive affirmations daily have helped improve my mental health even slightly. I could just be parroting sentences over and over, but I do find improvements in my mood after!

I also enjoy slotting in a 30-40 minutes workout to get my body moving. No matter how down I feel, exercising has always helped in lifting my mood, and I don't feel as guilty as I normally would if I had my ass on the bed all day long. I felt like I was actually moving my body and treating it well hahaha. Does that make sense to you?

No matter how down I feel, repeating positive sentences daily, exercising daily, walking Cuddles daily, and drinking lots of water has always been a staple in my week thus far, and I'm enjoying it. I would recommend it to you too! It's a lesson all right, small habits will always accumulate and compound into big changes - physically and mentally.

Another lesson? I get sidetracked and feel "empty" throughout the day if I don't set even a single goal to accomplish. But every time I set a goal, I don't even want to do it sometimes. I always seem to rely on spontaneous motivation and energy to get it done. Maybe I just don't want it bad enough? Sigh. Seems like I'm lost. I don't even know what I truly want to achieve in the long run... and that sucks. I've a simple habit tracker going on for the month of July and so far it's going OK, but when it's done and over I'm lost again. Hahahaha. And just watching anime or reading mangas or light novels isn't enough to give me fulfillment. I probably need to reflect on my life goals and break it down into simpler goals once again.

 Hello hello! ❤

Today's journal prompt seems to have me stuck in a circle once again! Hahaha!

I typed the above sentence this afternoon.... and now it's 10.24PM. I guess I'm a night owl when it comes to blogging HAHAHA. This question now reminds me of a korean variety show where they asked a group of male idols what advice would they give their younger selves (I can't remember which group it was) - but I remember laughing the heck out of it because they just said "BUY BITCOIN". HAHAHAHHA. Wow much trendy such rich advice HAHAHAH I would pass that advice to my younger self too 😂

And because of that sudden memory I do want to tell my younger self to learn how to invest. I grew up in a family situation where money is often a difficult topic to talk about. I only got to do my degree because my stepfather offered to pay for it, and it would've been a different story if I didn't have my stepfather in my life. But now that I'm earning money, I'm still so slow at investing money... I am trying, but still very afraid of the unknown... I'm learning now. But one step at a time. I wish I knew earlier, so all my money could be making more money now. 

Also, don't try so hard to please people. They don't care anyway in the end. You're just becoming a gossip topic for them. People only care about themselves, and therefore you should too. It's ok to put yourself first. That's ALWAYS OK. Always be honest with your feelings. And take care of your body and health. Exercise is your best friend, you'll love it! Keep doing what you love, keep doing what you're passionate about, even if no one else knows why you love it. This is hard, and I'm still keeping a lot of things in the closet. I'm just really envious of people who freely shares everything with the world.

Read more books. You know you love that feeling of being engrossed in a book all day all week long. Don't stop. Doesn't matter if it's fiction, or fantasy or mangas or novels, you know you like to dive into that limitless imaginative world. Read more and fill your soul. It always feels good to put the book down after you're done with that adventure. E-books are fine too, just turn that page daily and you'll enjoy yourself more :) 

Cherish your loved ones. Always make time for them. I know I'm not the most patient person in the entire world but hear them out. Listen, and if you're angry. Don't say things you don't mean just because you're angry. Compose yourself. Apologize if you need to. There's nothing shameful about saying sorry.

I would give myself so much more advice... but I think it'll come out sounding like regrets of things I didn't do in the past. I'll take a step back for now, and maybe revisit this topic some time in the future.

And maybe I'll just end this post without a picture for once. Hehe. I know I'm not happy with the quality of this blog post today... but even that would be advice for myself. To not be such a perfectionist. It's okay to not give my 100% every single time. You'll only get burnout and feel uninspired and want to quit. So I'll just leave this lackluster post here today. As a sign that it's okay. It's okay to feel less than 100% today, it's okay, you did it anyways! It's not the best, it's not perfect, but it's DONE.

And that's all that matters.

Goodnight :)

 Hello hello ❤

Once again.. the journaling prompt of the day made me delay it until night time... 

The topics are getting fairly difficult at this point. I've even read the prompts in advanced for the remaining days and it doesn't get easier. Haha. Well, it's journaling prompts for self discovery. If it's too easy I'm not really digging out my own inner thoughts eh?

I've even posed this question to le boyfie and he's stuck too HAHAHA.

I went on YouTube and Google just to try and see what other people on the Internet would share with the world... but it wasn't a great search result. In the end... I think I do have one message to share with the world, and myself.

It would be to keep doing what you love without caring for other people's opinions.

Often times we've found ourselves influenced by other people, we end up wanting validation or seeking permission to do what we want to do. We want our efforts and choices to be what the herd wants. We don't think it's the right choice because it won't give us likes, or attention, or made into a side hustle or business to generate money. We find so many reasons or excuses to back out of things that we truly want to do, and I hate that. Because I have that same mindset as well. 

I wanted to cosplay, didn't do it because everyone around me didn't seem to look at it in a good way. I admired those in my circle who actually had the guts to do it. I'd probably still remain a closet weeb LOL. Maybe one day I'll just do a self photoshoot at home to tick it off my to do list hahaha.

I want to share my paintings and creations with the world, but I didn't do it because I felt like it wasn't as good as the other beautiful artworks constantly circulating around on social media. It felt like my work was inferior and couldn't compare. So I just kept it to myself and occasionally a few close friends (cause their comments always give me a super confidence boost lol).

I loved making song covers on youtube. I stopped because I started losing confidence... and because I wasn't getting much attention. Maybe it was a bad comment, maybe it was a dislike on the video. Since then I've just stopped completely.

But what I want to convey is that: There will always be someone who disagrees, someone who dislikes it, someone who won't support or says it should generate money and be "sold". There will also be silent stalkers, those who read and see it but won't drop a comment or like or a single response, but they're there and they notice every thing you do. And there will always be people who will support and motivate you even when they have no idea what's good or nice or bad. They just support you because they're nice people and that's honestly so heartwarming.

So I do hope you will get to do what you love, and do it often.

I hope I will do so too. Blogging was one of the things I stopped doing then, and I've picked it up again, even if no one is reading. I do hope I won't get engrossed in the statistics of my blog again and get overwhelmed. I just want to do things that I love, with or without recognition.

I hope you resonated with this, and even if you didn't, I hope you'll find words to cheer someone up in your life who might feel this way as well.

Take care and have a great day ahead :) 

Hello hello! Thanks for reading my journal prompts today! :)

Today was quite a happy day for me. Do you watch Sixth Sense? It's a Korean variety show where they go around determining which out of 3 is the fake one using their sixth sense aka guessing powers HAHA. It cracked me up ever since it's debut episode. I was watching Episode 2 of the second season with le boyfie today. Laughed so hard every few minutes, it's one of my favourites!

And because I spent almost the whole day with le boyfie, I clearly forgot about my daily journal prompts. It's 11.31PM and I hope I'll have enough time to end this blog post today before sleeping hehe.

So who means the world to me and why?

If I have to list it down, the top 3 that comes to my mind are... my family, le boyfie, and my Cuddles!

This one's from my birthday earlier this year when the rules weren't as restricted as it is now. It really meant a lot to have le boyfie plan out so many things for my birthday! So so so grateful to have him in my life! He's been more than my boyfriend. He was my best friend, my other half, my partner in crime, and more! It's been 7 and a half years... and here's to many more years! One of the few people in my life who I can truly be comfortable and just be me :) 

And lastly, my 11 year old baby girl Cuddles! We adopted her when she was only a few months old, and she's been the one accompanying me since secondary school. My sis and I had different school timings back then, so she was my only company. I still remember the days where she'd chew on my fingers with her gums while I was studying for PMR hahaha. Having her around when no one else was was truly what I needed back then. Now, it doesn't feel right if I don't feel her around me when I go to sleep. Yes, she mostly sleeps with me. I just wish she didn't have to give me so many fart bombs....

Do I really need to elaborate the reasons as to why they mean the most to me? Hahaha. I just can't imagine what my life would be today without them in it. Wouldn't have it any other way either. Sometimes you just don't need so many reasons to justify your feelings. You don't need to have a reason or justification. You just need to feel it, and accept it.

❤

 Hello hello!

Welcome back to another journal prompt where I pretend I'm talking to someone about myself hehe. I know not many people are even aware of my blog and reads it, but I like writing this out to lay my thoughts in bare sight. Who knows if the future me will read this and be like, wow, I was like that xx time ago? HAHAHA.

What do I love about myself? Back then I remember I was always super proud of my hair because it was super long and soft (yes thank you conditioner!!), and next after that would be having clear skin most of the time as well as being "smart". What about now? I wonder how much has changed since then.

Honestly I've been putting off trying to write this blog post because I'm not sure what it is I currently love about myself. My hair? I probably dyed and bleached it too much, and my hair falls too much now. I'm losing confidence in it haha. My skin too, the signs of aging and ever darkening eye bags are slowly creeping up on me. Finding faults is always easier eh? 

I've had this post drafted since last night but it's nearly 9PM now and I am still struggling to even answer this question. When was self love so hard?

I love that I still try to pull myself back up no matter how shitty I feel. I know my condition is the best and I'm always looking for ways to help myself back on my feet.

I love that I still take pictures of myself despite knowing that I'm not the prettiest, or that I won't get many "likes" on social media to validate my beauty, because I'm the only hype club I need.

I love that I still continued to like the things I like (even if it's in secret because no one else that I know likes them).

I love that I still listen to Japanese and Korean songs despite not fully understanding the meaning of the songs. Yet the emotions of the songs are still felt. I cry when the song is too sad, and some songs just make me happy immediately!

I love how I'm committed to my games HAHAHA. I literally spend 2-3 years on the same game without bothering about any other new games. My entire uni life was Age of Ishtaria, my work life so far was War of the Visions... and my only mini exception is Ragnarok because it's a game I get to play with le boyfie.

I still... can't name more than this on what I love about myself.. I even asked le boyfie what he loves about me just to get an insight on things that I might not have noticed about myself.. but all he said was "I can always be comfortable and be myself around you". Geez. That just made me feel happy about myself.

I love how I've changed from liking external things about myself, to internal things... just by reading what I've typed.

And it's suddenly past 11PM now... and I still can't come to a proper conclusion on how to end this post. I'll leave it here for now. 

Tata!